Last nights game went very well, team won & played well; I won and played well. It was all good..........but there's a slight concern regarding something that has cropped up. Its a concern for me as a captain and as a player.
I was the topic of conversation last night and there was alot of speculation that I may not be playing for the team next season. Apparently it was discussed last week aswell (this was news to me) I am regarded as one of the best players in the team. I do love the sport and take it more seriously than the other members of the team. I practice regularly and enter tournaments and it's all helping me improve. Anyway, this was going on as I was playing. Didn't bother me but I could hear them talking about me (previously this would have put me off so I am improving on that front)
Its almost a unanimous view that I will leave at the end of the season. Their reasoning is that I will want to push on with my game in all levels and that will require me playing with better players. Chatting with some of the guys about it, there doesn't appear to be any ill feeling and they seem to understand why I would move. I admitted (and this may have been a mistake as I'll come on to later) that I didn't know where I was going to play next season and IF I did move, it would purely because I felt it would benefit my darts, not to get glory as one of the players did warn me about. It is true that whilst we can challenge anyone on our day, we're unlikely to win any team events. It would be nice to win trophies with the team but from an individual perspective, I can win the singles tournament no matter where I play. Doubles is more of a lottery but admittedly, playing with a better player increases your chances of winning it.
They all seem to think I'll join The Cross Keys if I leave. Can see why they think this; I play with most of them in SuperLeague, I practice in there a bit, play pool for the pub and generally get on with everyone in that team. Plus I was invited to join them for this season and it has been mentioned to me this season about the possibility of moving for next season. I was also offered a place in another team for next season.
Couple of weeks ago during a game, one of the opposition said to me "Oh I hear you're moving to the Keys next season" I flatly denied it and he wouldn't tell me who told him but add what happened last night, it seems my team are not the only ones who see me moving next season and are not the only ones chatting about it. Maybe this is league politics, human nature to gossip and they would be doing this with anyone but I'm not used to (or entirely comfortable with) people discussing my potential future. The fact my team did it is slightly concerning. On the other hand, it can be taken as a compliment. The team do want me to do well but don't want to lose me. The other league members know who I am and I know they raise they're game against me cos they've all admitted it and what me on their side.
As a captain though, I need to keep the players on track for the last 7 games. As a player I need to focus on my game. We have the top 3 teams one after the other in a couple of weeks time and they will be very tough matches - plus could decide who wins the league its that close at the moment. What does concern me a bit though is that a couple seem convinced I will leave and already resigned themselves to this fact. If I did leave, I would have massive appreication for the team. They treated me well, supported me when I lost all confidence in my game and gave me the chance to play at this level. I do want to step up my game all round but I'm guaranteed a singles game every week, there's no pressure on me to have to fight for my place and whilst we want to win, we have a laugh doing it.
I have some choices that need to be made but they have to wait until the end of the season. But I'm a little worried that this speculation will increase, especially when we play The Keys in 3 weeks time. Could prove an interesting night......
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